Dave's Gourmet: Ghost Pepper Naga Jolokia
The knight sheathed his sword, looked around at his broken camp, and continued his walk up towards the mouth of the cave. It was dusk, and he knew that he'd have a better chance if he got to the beast by nightfall.
The dragon (he was told it’s proper name when he took the job, but didn't care to remember it) apparently had twice the eyesight of a man. That was during the day. While its night vision was still impressive, it wasn't able to discern colors. Hopefully, that would help. Stepping over uneven rocks, his mind wandered back to the tavern. Back to the discussion of the job. They had said the dragon was of a subspecies known as a Ghost Dragon (named for its white, nearly translucent skin), it was very fond of livestock but it didn’t seem to turn down the occasional human or dwarf. Most importantly, it was costing the town a lot of coin. Mainly due to the livestock, though the dwindling number of residents likely hurt the town's economy as well.
So, when the haggard barman spoke to him, his words forcing their way out of a rough beard on a face full of scars, the knight was more than happy to hear him out.
"Naturally, due to the fact that this is a ghost dragon...I'll have to ask for extra compensation. They're not easy. They’ve given me trouble before, these beasts are no easy target," the knight explained. He had never before heard of a ghost dragon.
"I understand," the barman sighed. "I’ll ask the town to throw in more of their savings...what choice do we have?"
Now, with the promise of nearly 3,000 coin waiting for him back in town, his walk to the beastly menace that had ruined livelihoods (and lives) was easy despite the rough terrain.
As the night finally won its shoving match with the day, and the darkness sank slowly into the earth like a ship with one too many leaks, he paused. He strained his eyes at the broken wagon, surrounded by flung cargo. Besides the short stubby arm, there was only broken crates and tattered cloth.
The knight felt his chest tighten, his breastplate feeling looser for a fleeting second. His pulse began to quicken. He was almost there.
Approaching the mouth of the cave, he peered forward through the clearing. The moonlight was shining brighter now, and within it, he could make out the vast darkness where the cave sunk into the side of the mountain.
And so, it was nearly time.
The knight began to execute his plan. It was simple, and that's why it would work. He removed his bow, quietly setting it on the flattened grass. Next came the quiver, and from it, four arrows. These he set in a neat line by the bow, they stretched out on the grass like skeletal corpses. From his satchel, he grabbed a small jar made of bone, decorated with an ornate carving. The jar seemed to shine in the moonlight. He opened it carefully, as if it were an insect that would bite if given a chance. Inside was a thick, purple liquid with swirling black streaks.
Minutes later, he finished dipping the final arrow into the jar and quickly corked it closed. It was only then that he realized he'd been holding his breath. With each arrowhead dripping with poison, he could lure the dragon out. He approached the darkness of the cave as slowly as he could. His only guidance the pale luminescence of the moon. He was 20 steps away from the mouth when he realized that the light was gone.
This isn’t right.
He felt the eyes on him before anything else. How could this have happened? He's been snuck up on before of course, by assassins and wolves and the husbands of barmaids he woke up with, but by a dragon? Something had gone very wrong.
In one swift motion, he nocked an arrow and turned around, prepared to let it fly.
His hand was releasing the poisoned arrow meant to slay the dragon when he felt engulfed by a blazing hot fire the likes of which many experienced, and none had survived. His last sensation was that of his steel plated armor melting onto his bones, burning with heat only matched by planets made of fire deep in the cosmos. Much like this bottle of Dave's Gourmet Ghost Pepper Naga Jolokia sauce.
Taste: Hot, not fun, really hot, tastes like fire.
Heat: 855,000 SHU
Label: Deceiving. The pepper looks like it's dead. I know the feeling
Score: Very hot, which is cool, but not very enjoyable. 1.5/5 charred knight thumbs.